A Change is Gonna Come

Its hard to describe my mood today... I am 3 days away from my due date. Its finally hit me about all the changes that will be happening soon. The things that have been running around the back of my mind for several months now, but now those things are almost reality. Its strange to describe the joy that I feel about bringing a new baby into our lives, yet at the same time the terror of realizing how different things will be. I know this is a natural thinking process that most mothers go through, but I can't help but feel a little emotional about the situation anyway. Every night when I sing the girls their bedtime songs, I wonder if this will be the last night I have with 'just my girls.' I wonder if they will feel a little jealous of their new sibling, I wonder if i will be good at dividing my time and energy between all three kids. I wonder if it will be harder to take the kids places now... i just wonder..... 

I sometimes worry about disrupting our family dynamic. For almost 4 years now, its been the 4 of us, so there will be a change, no doubt. Ultimately when these worries begin to overwhelm me, I think back to when I was pregnant with Arabella, and I had a lot of these very same thoughts. She didn't take away from our family, she has added so much joy and happiness that I couldn't imagine what our life would be like if she hadn't come along. I felt the same way when I learned I was pregnant with Sophia, too. Scared about how my life was going to change, how I was young and morphing my life to become a mother... having NO clue what I was doing!!! In the end, God took care of all of us. He blessed me, first of all, with a wonderful mother of my own who I use as an example of how to parent, secondly, he blessed me with a man that is not only a wonderful husband, but also an AWESOME father. 

Change is often so hard to accept, but things have that way of working out just the way they are supposed to. Not that all of my feelings are of worry and change, thats just that rush of worry before the big day comes. Those worries are just here today, because my last doctor appointment is tomorrow, signaling that the end is near. Actually, its just the opposite, for the last 40 weeks, Ive been on Cloud 9!   I spend most of my time talking with Brandon and the kids about how excited we all are about the new baby. We are all anxious for him to get here so that we can have one more family member to love. :) These pictures are just a couple i took off my phone from the last couple of weeks.  A couple of them are even from outside on a 60 degree day in January!! Very awesome! 

The next time I post, I will be a mother again. I will have two beautiful daughters that have stolen my heart. And soon, I will have a son to cherish as well.  God has blessed me. :) I pray He blesses you too.