If you know me personally, you probably know I adore my children. (Most parents do, im sure. :)) I mean, they are my world. Tiny little parts of my heart and soul, walking around on the Earth. I love them. They are my LIFE. You get it, right?
That being said, sometimes... how do I put this?? They make me want to run away from home. I mean, at about 6 p.m. sometimes I am ready to commit a crime just so i can be locked away in a peaceful jail cell for a little while! I know some of you parents with young children can relate to this.
Here is a timeline of events that actually happened yesterday. This is a small glimpse into my every day life. Some days go more smoothly, some go much less smoothly.
6:45 am: Sophia does not like pants. Or tights. Or jeans. She only likes dresses. She does not like socks. Only sandals. Its 35 degrees outside. I force her to wear an outfit that is weather appropriate. Im mean.
7:00 am: Sophia informs me that i did not use the correct cheese for her lunch yesterday. No swiss, no american, no cheddar. She ONLY like E-Z Cheese. (the finest of the cheese group, right?) Otherwise she will not eat. She will go on a full-on hunger strike and have a belly ache and a terrible day. We do not have EZ cheese, so its just meat.
7:15 Bella has stolen the key to Sophia's brain and her heart. She is running around the house with the imaginary keys, taunting her with them. Sophia is now having a meltdown because she wants her 'brain key' back. Bella is mean. I make Bella hand Sophia back the keys to her brain or else Ill be forced to take the key from HER brain. She cries. Im mean.
** after i get the kids to school, i get Brandtley home and let him destroy the place as i try to clean. (like shoveling during a blizzard, right?!) Today he only colored on the wall once, its a good day. i manage to sweep, vacuum, mop kitchen. Squeeze in some laundry, get him down for his nap, more cleaning and laundry. 22 minute run. Couldn't make it 23, too tired. I get baby up from the nap, feed him. He doesn't like what i made & dramatically throws it on the floor. He's mean. I clean up the mess. Time to get the big girls from school. This is where is gets interesting again.***
2 p.m.: pick up Bella from school. She has a headache, a belly ache, a hurt leg and they forgot to feed her lunch again at school. She lies, but i love her anyway. So i take her home before we get Sophia and tend to her ailments. Turns out all she needed was some Pringles and a juice box.
3 p.m: pick up Sophia. She also has a headache, a stomach ache, someone pushed her and she feels certain both of her legs are broken from the fall. Also it was embarrassing because someone laughed. She never wants to go to school again.
3:15pm: Sophia begins working on homework. Bella begins annoying her. I begin to wonder if its acceptable to drink wine at 3:15. I resist the urge. I help with homework, pull the baby off the top bunk about 20 times, start supper, pick up the clutter that is already accumulating on the clean surfaces i worked all day on. No big deal.
4:30 p.m: Kids are starving again. I catch them snacking. Only an hour till supper, so i yell. Im mean.
5:30 p.m: Daddy is running late. They are literally going to faint if they don't eat. So i let them. I dont even care at this point.
6:00 p.m: baby gets a bath. Afterwards he takes off naked, and i cant find him. I ask the girls to help, but they cant be bothered, they are cutting little tiny snow flakes out of paper. It looks like it has ACTUALLY snowed on the floor. I will deal with that in a bit. But, seriously, i cant find the baby! he's underneath a box, hiding. I think he did it on purpose. I wonder if its too early to put him to bed?
6:30 p.m: I put him to bed. I help pick up the snowflakes... when i say help, i mean i do most of it while the girls sort of help. My grumbling and tone is getting increasing less patient by this hour. The kids are exchanging worried looks. They should, I am one more mess away from losing it. Brandon and girls make a Wal-Mart run. I clean while they are gone, and I think i might cry Im so tired. But i dont, today.
7:30 p.m: The girls are squabbling over the where each individual tree should be placed in the Christmas Village. The dog got moved to wrong side & somehow someone gets scratched and someone got karate chopped in the leg. Sophia's broken legs from school flare up. Bella says no one loves her. It ends with a time-out, tears, and a promise of a spanking to the next child that so much as says a WORD. Me and daddy are both mean.
8:00 p.m: Its bedtime. Seriously, like right NOW! I make what feels like it has to be the 45th round of drinks of the day, serve drinks to my masters, tuck in, kiss hug... and sneak out. I turn on the t.v. im going to watch a GROWN UP show! Something that isnt on Disney or Nickelodeon. I fall asleep with remote in hand.
8:20 p.m: I jolt awake on couch, Brandon says im snoring so loudly he cant hear the t.v. No matter, he gets a work phone call. Bella is yelling for another drink. She 'cant sleep with a dry mouth.' I get her another drink, re-tuck, hug, kiss. I am going to watch that show now. I dont even make it past the credits.
9:30 p.m: Brandon wakes me up. I dont even know where I am. Its time to go to bed. I will watch that show tomorrow night, its been dvr'd since august. Im sure one of these days ill watch it though.
Better get some sleep, my alarm goes off at 5:30 am, and we ride this ride again. :)
***disclaimer. No children were harmed, neglected, un-cherished or unloved during the course of this day. ***
